Liverpool v Watford: Premier League: LFC Player Ratings

Simon Mignolet Yellow

Simon Mignolet:


It’s always the way isn’t it? You expect a nice long leisurely sit in the sun (and who doesn’t like a good long sit from time to time), when out of the blue you’re called into action, and you produce your best performance of the season.

The save from Ighalo in the second half needs to be seen on MOTD2 tonight, or on Twitter, or wherever you can watch it. It was SPECTACULAR. By far it was Migs’ Save Of The Season and should easily be in the Top 5 Saves Of The Season full-stop.

I’m trying my best to ignore the irony of the fact that it came in a pretty meaningless end of season league game when it doesn’t really matter. You should do the same.


Jon Flanagan

Jon Flanagan:


Great to see Flano back in the side but I’ve seen less rust on the hull of the Titanic….

As ever he is honest and willing, and he knows how to leave a mark on his opponent, as shown by his thoroughly deserved yellow card in the second half.

Flano is like a 1970’s / 1980’s old-fashioned defender caught in a 21st century namby-pamby world.


Martin Skrtel

Martin Skrtel:


I saw quite a lot of ‘Twitter Fewming’ about Martin in the 1st half, as he had to scurry to recover on more than one occasion to thwart Ighalo. That was a tad unfair…

Martin was playing alongside Lucas, who I’ll deal with in detail next, but the reason Martin was struggling to cope was more to do with the failings of Lucas than failings of his own making. Mind you it’s about time he felt what every other CB in the squad feels when playing with him. Y’get me?

This game was a ‘redemption’ of sorts for Martin, who once more faced the player who utterly bullied him off the football pitch last December and cost him his place in the side, probably permanently. He got a modicum of revenge.

His hair is growing back too, but it’s growing back slower than Martin on the turn.





Let’s deal with this issue once and for all, shall we?

Lucas is doing a fine job as an auxiliary centre back THIS season, as needs must. However we should not under any circumstances consider Lucas as a long-term option for this role.

As mentioned above, Martin Skrtel was struggling to keep a hold of Ighalo on more than one occasion, but this was primarily because Lucas played the first hour like a Jack Russell playing with a tennis ball. Every time he saw the ‘ball’, he dashed out to get it, leaving everything and everyone behind him. The problem with this approach is that he kept missing the ball, hence the ‘Skrtel Scurry’.

However he’s a player being asked to play out of his comfort zone, and he’s a good man for doing so.


Alberto Moreno

Alberto Moreno: 


Bertie did his bit today and will get a well-earned rest on Wednesday night.

How did he do? Bertie was Bertie. Less ‘heart-attack’ moments than normal in fairness, but that may be because everyone was out for a stroll in the sunshine.

He’s going to spend the next 10 days in an interrogation room, a bright light shone in his face and Herr Klopp firing questions about his old Sevilla teammates at him. I just hope for his sake he gives the right answers – I wouldn’t like to be interrogated by Jurgen. I reckon he’d make water-boarding seem like a spa treatment.


Kevin Stewart

Kevin Stewart:

There was a young man named Kevin

Who made Watson look like a fool

Sherlock would laugh loud

It’s elementary, be proud

That’s why you play for Liverpool


Joe Allen Jesus Christ

The Lord Joe:


After healing Can, Ings and Gomez, The Lord Joe is now continuing his miraculous deeds by scoring a goal.

Now that may be a miracle in it’s own right, but the fact that it was assisted by Christian Benteke means that The Lord Joe is now beating Jesus Christ on points.

Worship him, for he walks among us.


Jordan Ibe

Jordon Ibe: 


Plenty of huff. Plenty of puff. He’s not really able to blow anything down though.

As I’ve said before, it’ll be fascinating to see what Jurgen decides to do with Jordon this summer.


Seyi Ojo

Sheyi Ojo: 


His final ball was appalling today. Truly atrocious.

Having said that, he created the second goal with his work-rate by intercepting the attempted clearance, and Bobby F took care of the rest.

If you improve the squad in the summer (which Jurgen will) and you have both Ibe and Ojo as ‘young players who could make the step up’, do you keep both in the squad? Or do you send one out on loan for experience as both have been recently? If so, who do you keep? I know who gets my vote….


Philippe Coutinho

Phillipe Coutinho:

Dearest Philippe,


We’ve had this argument before. I’ve referred you to a certain movie and book. I’ve implored with you to work on it. However we’re here again…

Please, please, please work on your left foot mate, aye? You denied Christian Benteke a SECOND assist today because you’re unable to hit it off a football.

Love You,



Benteke Vitality

Christian Benteke:




No, it didn’t hit him on the arse and fall into the path of The Lord Joe, it was a sublime, sexy, perfectly weighted cushioned header right into the path of his teammate.

As mentioned above he also put one on a plate for Philippe, but it was on his left foot…

A decent shift, proved to be a handful for the Watford defence. It’s a start…as we near the end….




Roberto Firmino

Roberto Firmino:


Bobby, seriously, you need to stop it now….

Yet another FILTHY turn left yet another opponent with twisted blood. It’s both distressing and hilarious all at the same time.

Another goal, another positive contribution. That’s just the one goal and two assists since Thursday night. What have YOU done in the same time?



Connor Randall

Conor Randall:

Barely had time to work up a sweat.  



Cameron Brannagan

Cameron Brannagan:


Another 10 mins of action, at the end of the season, against a team that didn’t give a flying f*ck when he came on.


Jurgen Klopp

Manager: Jurgen Klopp: 



Rotate it real good.

We could get top 6. Maybe. I’m not really that bothered myself. We could be one game from a Champions League Group Stage place or no European Football at all. Hmmm.

Mind you, it’s Chelsea next. We always like to stuff Chelsea, right Jurgen?


Note: If you enjoy the guff on this blog, you can find me on Twitter (@NiallHawthorne). I’m also regularly contributing to Finally I’m a co-host for the best weekly Premier League Podcast in the whole world – @ByTheMinEPL Podcast, which can be found on the website. If you’ve read this far, pat yourself on the back.


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