Liverpool 2-1 Spurs: The Ranting Rebel League Cup Ratings

Simon Mignolet Yellow

Simon Mignolet:

A performance that can best be described as ‘a sterling effort’. No, that doesn’t mean he collapsed in value or that he ran away to an oil billionaires play-toy, it means that he did a very, very good job.

Huge LOLZ though at those on my timeline expressing frustration at his absence from the first team. I particularly enjoyed those asking breathlessly ‘But, but, but…what’s he done wrong ????’. Now I’m not sure if amnesia spreads like a virus, but I suspect it might.

Put it this way, if (and I stress IF) Fandango gets dropped in the future, it will be because he will have dropped a number of clangers and given everybody heart failure on more than one occasion. In essence, he’d have shit the bed. Or, to put it in more respectable terms, he’d have ‘done a Mignolet’.

Now can you understand why Migs is not in the first team?

I’m just delighted that Migs is proving to be a reliable back-up. We haven’t had one of them in AGES.

7/10

Trent Alexander Arnold.jpg

Trent Alexander-Arnold:

O.M.G.

L.M.A.O.

R.O.F.L.

T.A.A. = A.C.E.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

T.H.F.C…..R.I.P.

8/10

lucas

Lucas:

Our longest serving stalwart, our leader, our Captain (last night). Lucas once more put in an impressive shift, and you get the feeling that his presence around the squad will be invaluable as the season wears on and suspensions/injuries take their toll. He keeps it simple, but effective.

I absolutely LOVED when he pulled Klavan aside and lectured him about his defending in the first half. That’s the 113 times capped Ragnar Klavan, being lectured by a man who I’d guess has not yet played 13 times at centre-half. Magic.

Not quite as magic though as the through ball he played in the second half for Divock Origi. Where the hell did THAT come from? Lordy, what a pass.

Mind you, I wouldn’t be surprised if Klavan pulled Lucas aside at full-time and reminded him that it’s probably not a wise move to repeatedly jab a foot at a player who has an equilibrium issue when sober.

Lamela, you’re some chancer.

8/10

Klavan

Ragnar Klavan:

A solid shift from Klavan The Barbarian, who looked like Arnold Schwarzeneger in Kindergarten Cop, surrounded by all those kids….

Kindergarten Cop.jpg
Klavan leads the team out for the warm-up.

I like the fact that Klopp played him alongside Moreno last night. You could sense that every time Bertie even thought about doing something ‘Bertie-ish’, Ragnar would just growl at him…it seemed to work. Speaking of which…

8/10

alberto-moreno

Alberto Moreno:

There he is, in all his glory, absolutely delighted that he didn’t do anything daft last night. HURRAH!

No, I’m being unfair, I know I am. Credit where it’s due, Bertie was very good last night.

With that new barnet though, he reminds me of Donald Trump. Unlike ‘The Donald’ though he kept it simple, inoffensive and didn’t make anyone roll their eyes so far back in their head that they could see their own brain.

There we go. Moreno is a better person than Donald Trump. It’s a small step forward, but the longest journey begins with a single step (I actually hate that saying. I mean it’s true, but it washes over the fact that there are millions of other steps to be taken too. Misleading bullshit. Hey, we’re back to Donald Trump again!).

8/10

Kevin Stewart

Kevin Stewart:

There are some questions that remain unanswered in this world where Google knows everything…

  1. Is there really a God?
  2. What was happening before the Big Bang? (No, not the TV show…)
  3. Is Donald Trump’s Presidential bid an epic long-running Saturday Night Live skit?
  4. How did Spurs let Kevin ‘Bobby’ Stewart go?

You sometimes forget that Kevin is one of the kids in this squad. He’s so assured, physically capable and has an eye for a pass too. He did a hell of an impression of Jordan Henderson last night, and that’s a bloody big compliment.

Now that Klopp’s system is set with a middle 3, the competition for a place is fierce. The ‘sitting 6’ role has Henderson/Can/Lucas chomping at the bit for a chance, and you can add the name of Stewart to that list. I’d have no qualms about him starting any game for us in that role. He’s the future this kid.

8/10

marko-grujic

Marko Grujic:

 

 

I’ll be honest with you…I’m struggling to find anything witty and/or insightful to say about Grujic last night. (Keep your wisecracks about never being insightful to yourself, thanks).

I mean, he was grand. Better in the first half than the second, but he didn’t grab my attention like others did. I suppose he was stepping into the shoes of Adam Lallana, which is never easy (They’re soft Italian leather covered in Nivea and slippy as f*ck).

He’ll claim an assist for the opener, but then again so will the Spurs lad who slipped and Vorm who bottled it.

He’s young, and his opportunity will come once more. Probably.

7/10

Wijnaldum

Geordie Wine Gum: 

Klopp made 11 changes to his team for this game, but I suspect he’ll only make 10 changes when we travel to Palace on Saturday evening.

The Geordie Wine Gum has made his way back from a minor injury, and was the stand out player in the middle of the park last night. (Speaking of which, what the f*ck has gone wrong with Eric Dier? He’s turning his surname into an adjective).

His pass for Sturridge for the second was perfection. First time, perfectly timed, splitting the defence wide open. In a team that possesses the ‘heavy-metal’ squeals of Coutinho/Firmino/Lallana/Henderson/Mane, he may well be the quiet member of the band. Mind you, the quiet members of the band get the girls too.

G’WAN THE GEORDIE WINE GUM YA GOOD THING!

9/10

ovie-ejaria

Ovie Ejaria:

A night of ‘not quite’ for the second debutante at Anfield last night.

That’s not important right now though. What is important is that he’s the spitting image of a young Michael Jackson.

young-michael-jackson

So the good news is that the king of pop has been reincarnated as a highly promising young Liverpool player. Makes sense when you think about it. Every game we’re looking to ‘Beat It’, we’ve had more than our fair share of ‘Thriller'(s), in the 80’s it was claimed legitimately that ‘They Don’t Care About Us’ and right now Jurgen Klopp, well, he ‘Wanna Be Starting Something’, right?

Ok, I’ll stop now.

7/10

Divock Origi

Divock Origi:

Marvelous. Superb. Immense. Sensational.

What a shift this young man put in last night. Pace, power, vision, he had it all. He’s been aching to get a chance, and he quite literally (alright, he actually) ran himself into the ground last night, hauled ashore after an all-action 68′ stint that had the Kop singing his name repeatedly.

There will be calls for Daniel Sturridge to get a run in the first team, but this fella deserves for the same calls to be made. I mean, neither will (more anon…), but by Christ are we spoiled for choice in our reserve strikers.

9/10

Daniel Sturridge

Daniel Sturridge:

Daniel Sturridge did what Daniel Sturridge does. That’s pretty much what Klopp himself said last night after the game. Two fine finishes showcasing the array of goals that Daniel is capable of. A poke home showing his predatory instincts and a calm finish when presented with a one-on-one opportunity.

Added to this was a scuffed shot from 12 yards, a fresh-air kick with only the keeper to beat from 8 yards, and an outside of the left foot attempt which hit the bar that was so drippingly sexy that I have left my wife and kids and decided to run away with it.

Should Daniel start away to Palace? No.

Is that fair? No.

Is life fair? Heh. Of course not.

Will he be sold in January? Hell no.

Should Liverpool fans be worried/angry? Get tae f*ck. We’re BLESSED.

Last night you saw the full squad depth of two of the top teams in the Premier League. We saw the ‘back up plans’ for both. Spurs have Vincent Janssen. Liverpool have Daniel Sturridge.

THAT, dear friends, is why Liverpool will do better than Spurs this season. Yes, I’m sticking my neck out. Don’t @ me bro.

No team will ever have all of their players fully fit all season long (unless you’re Leicester City and use that Doctor. You know the one. Allegedly) so when one of our glorious front three are crocked/suspended, we have a striker that is certainly in the top 3 strikers in the league to call on. If you’re angry/worried about that, take a long walk off a short pier.

9/10

Substitutes:

Danny Ings.jpg

Danny Ings:

Finally he got a chance, and I doubt there are many player who carry as much goodwill from the fans right now as Danny Ings does. We all want him to do well and to succeed.

We’re regularly told that his attitude in battling back to fitness and waiting for his chance is first class, and he seems like a really genuine guy, a model professional and one of life’s good guys.

It’s a pity then that he’s got 5 players ahead of him at Liverpool right now. It’s not a problem for us as fans, but it’s a problem for him. Maybe there will be an injury crisis among the attackers at Anfield and Danny will ride to the rescue, but let’s face it – he’s going to need at least 3 to get injured/suspended at the same time.

Some are annoyed he didn’t start, but last night Sturridge / Origi led the line and they were superb. We’re back to that ‘Is life fair’ question again, and I say to you this…If life was fair, why would your balls hang on the outside where they can get kicked?

Exactly.

7/10

Nathaniel Clyne

Nathaniel Clyne:

A report emerged yesterday that Patsy had been receiving injections in his knee during the international break, and my blood ran cold.

The man who seems to blend into the wallpaper and rarely does anything spectacular (good or bad) is the one man who I don’t want to lose for any length of time.

He’s so rock steady and reliable that you don’t notice him…until he’s gone. T.A.A. did well on debut, but we need Patsy fit and playing. It was a joy then to see him spring from the bench for the last 25′ or so looking in great shape.

Maybe the injection was for his holiday vaccinations…in 8 more months.

7/10

Emre Can

Emre Can:

Came on to see the game out.

Saw the game out.

Good for him.

N/A

klopp-new

Manager: Jurgen Klopp:

Played 12. Won 9. Drew 2. Lost 1.

Quarter Final of the League Cup.

Made 11 changes to his side and still beat Spurs.

I’m trying not to get too excited, I really am. However I’m about one big LFC performance away from stripping naked and running down Patrick Street in Cork City proclaiming Klopp to be the Messiah.

I could be premature of course, but I tell you this. He’s certainly not a very naughty boy.

9/10

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